Attacked at the Dentist Office — Part One!

Posted on May 5, 2011


I have so many adventures regarding visits to the dentist. If you knew them all, you’d wonder why I’d ever go back. To enlighten you, I’ll share one of them here in this post.

In my early 20s, I found a local dentist from India who did great dental work. I liked him very much. He was a kind and gentle man. Besides, he used nitrous oxide — aka laughing gas — which my dental insurance covered.

Dr. B and BRHG

Oddly, he seemed to go through a lot of dental assistants — pretty ones. I remember one, in particular who had big red hair (I mean BIG red hair) that flowed all the way down to her waist in big, relaxed poofy curls. I only saw her once in all my visits to Dr. Boomsaad — that was his name, “boom” with a long “sa-a-a-ad,” but pronounced ah.

Let’s call the big red haired girl BRHG for short. Well, I was not impressed with BRHG. From the start, she didn’t pay attention to anything she was doing to me while assisting Dr. Boomsaad. I’ve always thought that was pretty important to pay attention to a situation when you’re sticking things in people’s mouths — legally, that is. On this particular visit, I believe Dr. B filled a cavity or two, and BRHG was sucking out the excess amalgam. Her gaze was everywhere but in my mouth, the scene of the future incident.

Attack of My Hanging Down Thing

I was getting pretty nervous as BRHG let the sucker thing wander around in my mouth, then dangerously close to the hanging down thing in the back of my throat. Finally, my fears became a reality. She let the sucker thing grab hold of my hanging down thing like it was hanging on for dear life — kind of like a cowboy on a bull ride. I started choking as water, which the sucker thing was no longer sucking, ran down the back of my throat into my wind pipe. My life flashed before me and I thought I was going to drown … in a dentist’s office, no less.

Imminent Death

I had yet to meet the man of my dreams, give birth to my two beautiful girls and suffer the impoverished life of a struggling freelance writer — well, that last thing I could’ve lived without — and it looked like all that would be taken away in just a few brief moments — moments that could have been averted if BRHG had been paying attention.

BRHG to the Rescue

As I thrashed about choking to death in the dentist’s chair, BRHG came to from her daydreaming, grabbed hold of the sucker thing that briefly slipped out of her grasp and literally ripped it out of my throat. It felt like she ripped out the hanging down thing with it. I was in serious pain, but BRHG never apologized. She obviously had too many other things on her mind — probably thoughts about getting her hair done.

Dr. B Discovers Incident

When Dr. B came back in to check on me, she never mentioned to him what happened. As he was doing his final exam to ensure the filling was properly set, BRHG left the room, so I told him about what she did. I was terrified to tell him in front of her. What would she do to me the next time in retaliation — anesthetize me to death?

He looked into the back of my throat and acknowledged that it was quite swollen. REALLY?! I could’ve told him that, since it felt like I had a baseball straddling my tonsils. He said it would be just fine and told me to take pain relievers if I experienced discomfort. IF I experienced DISCOMFORT? How about PAIN?! It was horrible. I had a serious sore throat for over a week — could hardly eat — and, for days, it looked like there was a tube of lipstick hanging from the back of my throat … it made for an interesting story in the office, though.

The next time I went to see Dr. B, he had a new assistant. When I asked him about BRHG, he said she moved on to another job. Go figure.

Tell me about your adventures in the dentist chair.

Posted in: Personal Stories